Connoisseur - Emperor Nero

Nero took another spoonful of decadent coffee, chocolate-coated hazelnut, and hazelnut liqueur-flavoured goodness. It was all only going to melt anyway, with this big fire and everything. “Disasters are worth it, if you get to eat ice cream,” mused Nero. “Like in Jurassic Park,” he added, prophetically.

And so the Emperor’s thoughts turned to Steven Spielberg’s 1993 film. “I am a very good musician. Perhaps I will record my own version of John Williams’ excellent theme tune.” Nero put the ice cream to one side, and took out his melodica.

Connoisseur - NeroNero was pleased with his recording. He decided he should put it on a CD so that he could play it in high quality on his expensive stereo system, because it really was very good. And he could make copies for all his friends! Well, he could make spare copies. As soon as he had rebuilt Rome, he would create an optical disc authoring program for this very purpose.

Rome was indeed rebuilt, the optical disc authoring program created, and the CD finally inserted into the expensive stereo. Nero lay back on his couch, letting the melodica cover, with its unmatched sound reproduction quality, wash over him. Life didn’t get any better than this, thought Nero: “This is fidelity!”


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